The Unauthorized Autobiography of YOU . . . (Inspired By Society)

. . . Don’t look for the pain in my heart. My suffering is crystal clear and worn on my face. All you need to know is, hatred and grand failure can be read through my eyes. I have transgressed and I am eager to atone.

I’ve lived a greedy, selfish life. Always demanding more. Always wanting what I didn’t have. Trivializing and insulting anything real, which I might have been fortunate enough to actually hold in my filthy hands.

I’ve lived professing a love for beauty, yet continually killing and denying it in actual practice. I squandered what I had while others starved. I realized in private, that when I’m truly honest, there’s nothing honest about me at all. I can’t even be honest with myself. The fog, the confusion, the distraction of myself, blinds all my attempts at understanding how I feel.

 What is right?

What is wrong?

 What do I love?

 What do I hate?

Honestly, I cannot tell . . .

I never know if anything that happens is real. I never know if what I’m doing is true. As if I’m paralyzed. Yes, I move, talk, act, fuck, shit, breathe . . . but I’m immobile and atrophied inside. I’m a sad excuse for a human. I’m horribly poisonous and I’ll ruin your life. A creature of vice and artifice. A ridiculously antiquated joke, which has run its bloody course, wearing out its welcome long, long ago.

I’m pathetic. A distortion. An aberration, A disease, and I’ve eagerly, gleefully infected so many innocents throughout my life.

Yet, a heart may grow too hardened. A mind as sick as mine can only evolve to the point of wishing for nothing more than a bullet to break through its skull and bring with it a brain whose only thoughts will be oblivion. A mind can demand that the lies truly end. My mind fights an endless, foolish war of internal genocide. Just senseless chaos and mania. All feigning sacrifice. All jumbled lies and affectations, which taint every syllable sliding around my tongue.

And my heart refuses to pity me. Even for just a second . . .

I am cursed to remember.

I remember everything and all attempts to destroy those memories have been in vain. My mind desperately clings to them . . .

Stirring up my fears, greedily.

Tenaciously demanding that I live in constant knowledge of my self-inflicted pain.

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Gift Revolver Interview

Today, I have the honor and privilege of interviewing Gift Revolver (@GiftRevolver), a very talented artist and lyricist. He’s worked with Chino XL, Murdoc, J Bizness, Richard Wright, Synopse and Midaz the Beast and the list continues to grow. His art focuses on various topics, such as religion, the occult, hip hop, comics, sci fi, women, angels, demons, extraterrestrials and conspiracy theory. Take a trip into the mind of Gift Revolver.

1. Introduce yourself to the people who may not be familiar with your work.

Greetings, Jerome. My name is Adrian “Gift Revolver” Gutierrez. I use the name Gift Revolver as an alias for my comic book work as an artist and also my emcee name when I play my part in the hip hop culture. I’ve currently completed the first issue of “Gift Revolver”, the comic which you can find online at www.giftrevolvercomics.com. The book is based on myself as a comic world character and pretty much will include most of my personal interests. Those being, religion, the occult, hip hop, comics, sci fi, women, angels, demons, extraterrestrials and conspiracy theory. I am the creator, artist, colorist, and editor. My brother Steve “Supreme Logic” Gutierrez, takes on the roll as writer.

 

I also take on some underground emcee tasks from time to time. Mostly for The Love. I enjoy the more lyrically dense artists more than anything and would like to think that my music reflects some of that. Citizens of Hip Hop, you be the judge! You can find my music here at www.giftrevolver.bandcamp.com. Ive also tackled some album cover artwork for other artists in the underground. Guys like Chino XL, Murdoc, J Bizness, Richard Wright, Synopse and Midaz The Beast. I’m looking forward to getting more work in this arena and may be putting myself out there more for these kind of jobs.

2. What inspires you to create, artistically and musically?

I would say its a deep stirring in my DNA make up. There are many artists in my family. The first time I got my hands on a comic, I fell in love. Art inspires dreams, emotions and ideas. These things change the world. So artistically, I want to dream and I want to inspire others as well. I want to create an emotion in the hearts of others. Truthfully, I don’t know if this is bad, but I want to be admired for my work. God gave me a Gift, hence the first word in my name, and I want to spread that. So knowing God is smiling when I’m using my Gift and my family and friends are proud that Im creating, that’s good.

Musically, it’s the challenge behind the words. For me, it’s the mental challenge of stringing together words in a cadence and being somewhat technical with it. Sending a message in a creative way. Being witty, intelligent, sharp minded, conscious and aware of current events both pop and political. It’s the power of the word. It’s challenging. Also, creating a style to it all that’s basically a stamp of your personality and product. Those challenges inspire me to rhyme. Writing requires creative thinking, so it’s good. Plus, hearing a crazy rhyme from any one of my favorite artists makes me want to spit, just like anyone else!

3. Can you talk about some of your influences growing up?

My biggest influence was my older brother Steve “Supreme Logic” Gutierrez. I did what he did. He made me a better athlete. He introduced me to hip hop with the Beastie Boys, Run DMC & N.W.A. as a lil kid. He liked to draw as well, mostly sports athletes, not comic book stuff, but I saw what he did and started myself. My sister used to draw entertainers like Madonna and New Kids On the Block. So I was around these things. My pops also use to draw old military aircraft, tanks, indians and soldiers from various eras. So overall, I guess my immediate family pointed me in the direction im in now.

4. What was your first published work?

My first published artwork is the Chino XL cover art I did for his single “N.I.C.E.” off his latest album “RICANstruction: The Black Rosary” which is on  iTunes right now. My first published work as an emcee is the guest appearance I made on Ras Kass album “Institutionalized Vol. 2″. I appeared in the second verse on the song called “Try Me”, which is on iTunes as well.

 

5. Do you have any future plans in comics and musically?

The goal is to make a living off my art in some fashion. My goal is to establish clients in the Hip Hop world for album art, secure my own creator owned comic books and possibly get into Hollywood Production with Storyboarding and Character Design. I’ve started late and it’s a long hard road, but God Willing, He keeps me around long enough to see my ideas come to life. As far as music goes, it’s always gonna be for the love. I’m not banking on becoming rich off Hip Hop and I don’t have the desire to sign a contract. I’ll continue to use music as a vehicle to meet great people, politic, and open up some new doors for anything involved in being creative. I’ve also never liked the idea of touring.

6. What is your favorite comic book of all time?

My all time favorite comic book is the X-Men. There’s several titles but its still one label. So the X-Men . As an older reader today, I tend to lean towards new creator owned comics. I like to read all these new different dark characters that have been coming out. Cool stories. I guess it’s similar to following underground unsigned emcees. I’m also reading more DC and Dark Horse titles this time around. I use to be heavy into Marvel and Image. But the X-Men are just a cool bunch of characters. Wolverine, Cyclops, Colossus, Night Crawler, Ice Man, all the villians. Just cool stuff.

7. Who comprises your support group? Who means a great deal to you as you continue on your journey to create?

Mostly my immediate family and friends. My fiance is a big part with her support of my vision. That’s most important to me. We support each other. She understands. I don’t hang with too many people. I’m pretty low pro. I do feed off a few friends that are chasing their visions and dreams. It’s tough, today our society is fed a constant stream of fear, so dreaming and visions are easily wiped out by those fears. It’s important to have people with similar visions as yourself to match the frequencies of your thoughts and ideas. I’ve made some cool friends through social networks like you Jerome, you have a vision as a writer. You’re talented with the mind and words. You’re a creator. So, it’s important that people like you and myself hang around to see each other progress. So for those folks, we gotta stay in touch and support each other with good energy.

8. Thank You, Brother. I always been a fan of your artwork, and how humble and genuine you are when it comes to your craft. What advice would you give someone trying to break into comics?

I’m not in a position to give advice, but like anything else, persistence, hard work and dedication. That’s what I’ve been hearing, Ha.

9. Where can the people buy your comics or drawings?

I’m currently sampling different print on demand services. I’m not sure what we’re going to go with as of yet. Proofs are on there way. We’re going to make issues available as they’re completed and once the whole story is complete, we’re shooting to produce a whole book with cool extras. For now, you can view the comic at www.giftrevolvercomics.com. We will announce on this site where the comic will be available for purchasing. As far as buying my work or hiring me for a project, you can reach me at giftrevolver@yahoo.com.

10. Any words in closing?

I would like to say thank you for this interview. I really appreciate it. It’s good that we help create platforms for each other. It’s all word of mouth. Also to anybody reading this, keep an ear to the street for me on what I’m doing. I want to share my progress with you in art and music. Peace to my music team, Filth One (beats) and Born 5th (emcee),my brother Steve aka Supreme Logic and my beautiful fiance Wendy! HA! Once again, thanks for the shine here good sir! Oh yeah, peace,blessings and all that to everyone. Captains Log 01122013.

Thanks Jerome!

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@Literacy_Lives Holiday Sale

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Literacy Lives Cyber Monday Sale

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TS Excerpt . . .

Here’s a brief excerpt of a piece I’m working on for my next book . . .

Is it any wonder then that I’ve made it to this point? The same people who are selling me this life, fashioned me to become one of the numbers outside their demographic.

Bombarded by how it should be so often that I can’t keep my mind on how it is. Everyday I wake up hoping and praying for some inspiration. Something that signifies the slightest chance. I see right through everything and it scares the shit out of me.

Can we really accept this world?

This life?

It spins, an obscene merry go round of questions:

Why am I wired this way?

Why can’t I just eat two eggs, a few strips of bacon and some toast before I go to work?

Why can’t I buy the sofa that matches my carpet from the store that cares about saving me money?

Can I be blamed for my lack of interest in this flesh and the world that’s obsessed with dressing it up?

Can I be blamed for my lack of faith in a God?

Our biggest worries are what labels are on our clothes.

Don’t you want to buy it?

Don’t you want to cum inside it?

The Beautiful Confusion . . .

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@mviiig Clothing Line

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Literacy Lives “Brand YOU” Bundle Package

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Heart For Sale

What happened to my Heart?

It was here a while ago. I seen it leave and it never returned.

It’s somewhere trapped in the front seat of someone’s life.

It has put itself up for sale.

My Heart seems to be of no one’s concern.
My Heart sits in the rain on the curb reading a letter that says goodbye.
My Heart has been told to go away so many times that it’s afraid to come back.
My Heart was seen leaving the Theatre alone. Hands in his pockets, shirt collar up inconspicuously shuffling under the marquee trying not to be noticed.
My Heart was caught lying, handed out as a door prize, lost in a card game, forgotten in the isolation booth, left behind at the carnival and promised but was never delivered.
My Heart has been dangled in front of a mob of torch carrying villagers hunting down a murderous wolf in a European town during a fog induced night.
My Heart was placed in a lineup and suspiciously asked to turn left, turn right over and over. Nervously watching as all of the other Hearts were excused one by one.
My Heart escaped at midnight and slipped past the guards disguised as a Heart that was wanted and loved.
My Heart was in drunken fist fight at a downtown bar with an arrogant poet arguing over the ignorance of machismo.
My Heart was shot out of a cannon to the amusement of paying customers and given a standing ovation when it hit the bullseye.
My Heart makes too many mistakes.
My Heart caught the last train, was caught cheating, was the last one picked to play, the first one to lose, was the least likely to fall in love and the least expected to leave in one piece.
My Heart was last seen standing outside a Cantina in Mexico City panhandling and crooning eleven choruses of Besame Mucho as Bullfighters and dust bowl Senoritas tossed nickels and dimes into an open guitar case.
My Heart has retracted his story so many times that he can’t possibly tell the truth anymore.
My Heart gives himself up too easily.
My Heart has caught fire, was caught sleeping, caught stealing, called in sick, called for help, was recalled, recapped, remodeled, reinstated, understated and misunderstood.
My Heart is wanted for questioning by a Sam Spade detective look-alike character who pulls up with a classic bubble headed blonde in the front seat fixing her make-up in the rear view mirror of a 1961 El Camino convertible.
My Heart has never been away from home this long.
My Heart was under house arrest and slipped down the drain pipe and was heard running through the streets crying into the night.
My Heart is considered dangerously romantic and capable of breaking other Hearts at anytime.
My Heart hasn’t been seen since last Thursday.

If you want I’ll make sure that My Heart never bothers you again.

But if you see My Heart please send it back to me.

It can’t possibly survive too much longer on his own.

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